Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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