I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize