im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
