Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
