Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
