I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
