mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
