Where did you get a picture of my penis
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
