There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
