Me too!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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