Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
