new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
