i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
