I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize