i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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