i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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