Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
