How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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