My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
