I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
