how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
