You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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