am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this beer tastes like vomit already
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
