He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
