apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
