He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can text with my tongue
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
