Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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