So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
