It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
