what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
