I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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