I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
