Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
