Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
