THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
