I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
