I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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