They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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