Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
