I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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