He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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