you guys were way drunker than both of me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize