omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
