Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm passing your future prison.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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