What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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