Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
