I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
