At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
