I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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