I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
