you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
