so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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