Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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