Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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