I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
