he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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