Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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