I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
