I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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