She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
