David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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