There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
