you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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