Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
