Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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