Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
