Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
