sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize