a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
